Over-Thinking Thursday Night

by Nicholas Allen — June 26, 2007

I think I inadvertently offended a woman I recently asked out on a first date, not by the manner in which I asked her out or the itinerary I proposed for the evening (a fairly run-of-the-mill dinner/movie combo). I think I offended her by choosing to ask her out for a Thursday rather than a Friday or Saturday night. At least, so I've heard from certain mutual friends.

I've lived and dated in New York my entire life, and I've developed certain theories about what nights of the week to try to book a woman for a first date. I've come to feel that it's almost presumptuous to ask her out for a Friday or Saturday right off the bat, the implication being--in a town full of better things to do on a weekend night than hang around with the likes of me--that she...um...has nothing better to do on a weekend night than hang around with the likes of me. Not to mention that a weekday date, as a first date, carries a lot less pressure than a weekend night. Here in the City, asking a woman out for a Friday or Saturday right off the bat feels like it's only one step away from suggesting we comb the real estate section for charming time-shares upstate. The last thing you want is to scare off a woman with the seriousness of your intentions before you've even kissed her cheek.

Most people don't realize that there's a science to the Thursday-night date in New York City. As a man, I put a lot of thought into the choice of restaurant: trendy/scene-y? Dark and candlelit? Emphasis on food? On atmosphere? To say nothing of pan-regional specialties. What type of food says all the right things--Chinese? Italian? Sushi? Indian? If you try going too exotic--that new Brazlian/Vietnamese fusion everybody's talking about, let's say--you run the risk of appearing pretentious. Too pedestrian and she might think you're unimaginative. Not to mention that restaurants get booked up quickly in Manhattan on a Thursday night, so advance planning is crucial.

This is all by way of saying that the last thing I intended when I asked out the woman I'm seeing this week was to offend her by an apparent lack of thoughtfulness. Maybe the problem is that I've been overthinking...

Nicholas Allen is a writer and columnist based in Manhattan. To read all of his blogs, click here.