A Silent Standoff?

by Nicholas Allen — July 7, 2007

It's been three days since I've seen or spoken with Sandy, my "friend with benefits." She took off after that party we went to with strict instructions that I not follow her, and I didn't. I haven't called her since then, mostly from a sense that she doesn't want to hear from me. Or maybe she does and she's just waiting for me to make the first move.

Somebody commented on the last blog that Sandy's seeing me with another woman made me more valuable in her eyes. I'd gotten stuck in that "we're just friends" rut, he said (I'm paraphrasing here), and now she's probably reconsidering what exactly it is she wants from me, in light of the fact that I might actually be attractive to other women.

Maybe. It's hard for me to guess at what's going on in somebody else's head, although--even though I'm a just big dumb guy--I'm not completely stupid. I know what that look on Sandy's face meant when she saw me making out with somebody else. And I like Sandy a lot. She's a great girl, and there's an undeniable sexual chemistry between us. But she made it so clear for so long that she wasn't interested in being anything more than friends who occasionally slept together, that now I'm not sure I could even be interested in anything more with her. Sometimes ships sail, or windows close, or whatever cliché you want to insert here, and that, as they say, is that.

So I guess I've held off on calling her because I'm not really sure what it is I'm supposed to say here. Plus, I'm really digging Melissa (the girl Sandy caught me making out with). After Sandy disappeared into the night, I went back and got Melissa's phone number. We've talked a couple of times, and my initial impression of her being as witty as she is hot hasn't changed. If anything, it's been enhanced. We made plans to go out tonight and I'm already looking at the clock to see how many hours are left before I see her again.

Some women make you feel like you're a kid in middle school going out on his first date all over again. Some women just make you feel bad. It's the weekend, and the one thing I know for sure is which kind of woman I'm looking to be with on a Saturday night.

Nicholas Allen is a writer and columnist based in Manhattan. To read all of his blogs, click here.