Revolving Door?

by Gwen Cooper — July 23, 2007

Robert and I have spent the entire weekend talking, and the upshot is that we're going to give our relationship another chance. I'll admit that I helped push the decision along--I mean, I kissed somebody else and I'm sorry, and I would completely understand if he wanted to end things because of it. But it's not like I slept with somebody else, and two weeks of pondering our future together (or lack thereof) was, I felt, long enough. At least, it was as much as I could take. You're either in or you're out at a certain point, and when I expressed it to Robert that way, he decided that he's in.

It may sound unduly harsh, or ballsy for lack of a better term, for me to issue anything even approaching an ultimatum. But I've learned the hard way that getting past a betrayal of any kind in a relationship is hard work that has to be done by both parties. One person being willing to prostrate themselves while the other person makes up his or her mind only means you end up with two resentful people and one failed relationship. I'm willing to take the blame and all the lumps I've got coming to me, and to do whatever it takes to make things better between us, but I can only do so knowing that Robert wants me to stay rather than go. And I needed to hear him say it. I needed to hear him say that he loves me enough to try, or else what's the point of putting ourselves through any more unhappiness?

Having said that, I feel lucky beyond lucky that I did hear him say it--that he said he loves me and wants to work things out. The last few weeks without him have been practically unbearable, and it seems that it's been the same for him. Last night was the first night we'd spent together since I told him what happened with Brad and, lying in bed curled up in his arms, I realized that I never wanted to spend a night without him again. Which--even more so than guilt--is the best reason I can think of for never, ever, ever making the same mistake twice.

Gwen Cooper is the author of Diary of a South Beach Party Girl, recently published by Simon & Schuster. To read all of Gwen Cooper's posts in "The Dating Life," click here.