Will She Still Love Me Tomorrow?

by Nicholas Allen — August 23, 2007

I think most women are under the impression that most men are completely lacking in self control regarding sex--that when it comes to setting the pace in the forward progression of a sexual/romantic relationship, it's usually the woman who puts on the brakes, while the guy reluctantly bides his time until he can convince her to do the deed.

In truth, we guys tend to be much smarter than women give us credit for about recognizing when we've got a good thing going. I've never lost respect for a single woman I've slept with based upon where or when or how soon we ended up having sex. But jumping into sex too early will usually speed up the whole courtship process, robbing a new relationship of much of its fun and ultimately making it harder for you to get to know the girl in question. When the endorphins are pumping through your bloodstream a mile a minute, it makes it hard to figure out if the girl you're seeing is really as great as you think she is, or if she's just great in bed.

So although Patricia and I slept together in the same bed all weekend, we have yet to sleep together in the sense most people mean when they use the phrase. Not that it wasn't wonderful to fall asleep and wake up with her in my arms. And I'll say that, while actual sex hasn't yet taken place, this weekend certainly represented a giant leap forward in our physical relationship. If there's a woman with better lips and hands anywhere on the planet, I have yet to meet her...

Because we were staying in a house with three other couples, we were treated very much as a couple ourselves--even though we've only technically been on a handful of dates. Before this weekend, we saw each other a couple of times a week and talked on the phone only a few times more than that. Now we seem to be speaking to and seeing each other every day.

Sex isn't the only thing that dramatically accelerates the pace of relationship building.

So in that sense, I'm glad we haven't slept together yet. Sometimes things get so intense so quickly, they collapse under the sheer weight of their own intensity. When there's nothing to draw out the early-relationship excitement, relationships have a habit of fizzling.

But even with the restraint we're attempting to impose on our physical relationship, there's no question that things have started to move very quickly between us. I couldn't be happier about that today, but whether I'll still be happy about it in the days to come is, I guess, what remains to be seen.

Nicholas Allen is a writer and columnist based in Manhattan. To read all of his blogs, click here.