Creating a Girlfriend-Friendly Environment

by Nicholas Allen — September 6, 2007

Now that Patricia and I are more or less officially coupled up, she's spending more time than ever at my apartment. I've learned that, with any new couple, no matter how evenly you try to divide time between apartments, you inevitably end up spending a lot more time at one person's place than the other's. In this case, we seem to be spending most of our time at mine--mostly because a) my place is much more centrally located (Patricia lives way the hell uptown), and b) my place is quite a bit bigger, and hence more comfortable, than hers.

There are a lot of guys who don't think about such things, but I've been going out of my way to ensure that my apartment is as "girlfriend-friendly" as possible. It goes without saying that any stray photos of me with ex girlfriends have found their way back into photo albums and boxes. I'm not the neatest guy in the world, but dirty dishes no longer accumulate into piles of three or four in my sink, and my clothes have once again taken up residence in drawers, hampers, or closet. I've even (albeit subtly) cleared a little space in closets and drawers for Patricia's use when she's here.

But these are all basics--things that any guy with even a modicum of manners should consider. Making a guest comfortable is, after all (as my parents always taught me) the first rule of good manners. But I've also found myself considering things like climate control: Is my apartment too hot? Too cold? And I spontaneously picked up a box of Mallomars (a cookie that, frankly, I can't stand) the other day while grocery shopping, because Patricia mentioned once that she really liked them.

So far, nothing of Patricia's has found its way into permanent residence in my apartment. There are no skirts or blouses hanging in my closet when she's not here, no feminine hygiene products claiming a home in any bathroom cabinets. The fact that she's not pushing too hard on her end makes me want to do more for her. It seems like we've found a pretty good balance so far--at least, I think so. Whether we can maintain it, I guess, remains to be seen.

Nicholas Allen is a writer and columnist based in Manhattan. To read all of his blogs, click here.