The Art of Giving

by Nicholas Allen — September 18, 2007

My birthday is in October, and Patricia's is at the end of September--which means I'm up to bat first, as far as striking the right birthday-gift-giving note goes. In my more cowardly moments, I sometimes wish it were the other way around, so that I could take my cue from her in terms of how to play a birthday so early in a relationship. But that's only when I'm feeling nervous. For the most part, I relish my manly duty to meet this, as all other challenges, head on.

(Cue the John Wayne-esque swagger)

On the advice of a commenter named Kelly, I've decided to go with the "experiential" birthday present. Trying to pick just the right "thing"--right both in the sense that it's something Patricia would love and that it's neither too big nor too small of a gift--strikes me as somewhat daunting. But something the two of us could do together that I know she'd enjoy and appreciate...now that seems like a truly inspired idea.

Patricia is (or was) a big fan of The West Wing. One of the stars of the show is appearing in an off-Broadway play here in NYC through the end of September, and I've bought two tickets for the night of Patricia's birthday. Great tickets, actually, since it's playing at a theater to which I have a subscription. The play is a romantic comedy, so no worries about bringing a date--on her birthday, no less--to sit through two hours of gut-wrenching tragedy or morbid drama.

Now the only thing that remains is to find the right place to take her for her birthday dinner. The one thing she and I disagree about is cuisine: Patricia loves spicy food in general and Indian food in particular, but I have an intensely ingrained hatred of curries that goes back as far as I can remember. So I plan to give her not only the gift of a great dinner, but the even steeper gift of self-sacrifice, by booking a reservation for two at the best Indian place my friends can recommend (the last time I, myself, set foot in an Indian restaurant was, I think, during the Reagan administration).

If you've been reading my blog for a while, then you know I take great pride in being a planner. I like planning things in advance and down to the last detail--most guys do, I think, although we try to make it seem as if we're clueless and helpless when it comes to things like this (mostly to throw the responsibility onto the women in our lives to do it for us). It's good to feel like I've got my plan set and ready to go a whole ten days before I have to put it in play.

Now all I have to focus on is being appropriately witty and charming during the course of the evening. But not so witty and charming that it seems like I was planning it all out in advance...hmmm...maybe now's a good time to start brushing up on some off-the-cuff humor...

Nicholas Allen is a writer and columnist based in Manhattan. To read all of his blogs, click here.