Women Need a Reason, Men Just Need a Place

by Nicholas Allen — September 20, 2007

I'm not much for making sweeping generalizations, but guys like violent movies. At least, a touch of gore on film almost never rubs us the wrong way. While I'm not a big fan of the "torture porn" films that seem to have proliferated in the past couple of years (e.g. Hostel or Captivity), a good barroom brawl or some gunslinger action always goes down pretty easy. In this, I've learned over the years, men are fundamentally different from women. I think the old adage about the way men and women differ in their attitudes towards sex also applies to violence in movies--women need a reason, men just need a place.

Patricia was over last night and we were pretty mellow, flipping channels on the TV set while talking about our days and splitting a bowl of popcorn. One of my favorite (admittedly cheesy) action movies came on, and the scene we caught was a particularly violent shootout. I love coming in on the middle of a movie I know well and watching for a while. But Patricia was decidedly not into this particular film, and rather insistent that I change the channel.

I've been getting some pretty complimentary feedback over my last few blogs, complimenting my apparent thoughtfulness and such. But, the truth is, I can also be kind of selfish. I'm a film geek, and I'm fairly set in my ways when it comes to my movie-watching rituals. What looks like aimless flipping through channels to the casual observer is, to me, a process--I see new things in movies I've already seen and enjoyed, make connections I might not have thought of between this film and others, or just bask comfortably in the familiar rhythms of a favorite. I get annoyed when other people try to tell me how or when or what to watch. I can't help it.

Of course, I also have enough maturity to realize that Patricia is a guest in my home, that the relationship is still a new one, and that the smart thing to do in a case like this is probably just to get over it. Making sure Patricia is comfortable in my apartment should be my first priority.

Still, I was irritated--the first time I've ever been irritated with Patricia. Not that it's the end of the world--heck, a certain amount of irritation is inevitable if a relationship goes on long enough. But, still...

Nicholas Allen is a writer and columnist based in Manhattan. To read all of his blogs, click here.