How Was Heaven When You Left?

by Benjamin Todd — October 31, 2007

He's cute, and you noticed, more than once. You've made eye contact with him and even smiled, and still he hasn't approached you. So...what are you going to do about it? If he isn't going to make a move, why shouldn't you?

But how?

Call me crazy, but the worst pickup line you've ever heard is your best shot at getting his attention.

You can't talk sports on his level, and you don't know every line to every Will Ferrell movie, and you're probably not a pro at picking up on strange men (if you are, please correct me if I'm wrong). So why not have a little fun in your attempt? Every guy wants to have a cool girlfriend, and there is nothing cooler than getting picked up with a pickup line that even he doesn't have the balls to use. The worse the line, the better off you are. The less serious your comment, the less serious you have to be if he doesn't respond well (geez, learn how to take a joke).

Women may be turned off by a guy who isn't original enough to come up with something interesting to say right off the bat. Guys are way too simple for such fastidiousness. No guy can resist having his ego stroked, and a cheesy pickup line is the perfect way to do it. Show him you have a sense of humor, show him you're confident, and show him you're the coolest lady at the bar (or library or grocery store).

Find a webpage devoted to bad pickup lines and commit a few to memory. Next time you and your girls go out, let each person choose a line that someone else has to use, no exceptions. Come on, you're hot, why wouldn't he want to talk to you? In fact, you're so hot, that if beauty were made out of bricks...you'd be the projects. Have fun.