Asking Him Out

by Benjamin Todd — November 21, 2007

I'm not sure why this is even an issue these days, yet every so often, a friend will ask me if I think it's okay for women to ask a guy out. Sorry, what year is it again?

HELLO! Marty McFly was asked out by a girl in 1955 (Back to the Future). Sure it was his mom doing the asking, but that's beside the point. Why is this even a question? Yes, it's okay to ask a guy out. It's preferable for you to ask a guy out. I hate the guessing game, most shy guys do. If you're interested in a guy, there's no reason to not be straight forward about it.

My dear friend Kirsten has had a boyfriend for the last 13 years. Not the same guy the whole time, she just hasn't been without a boyfriend for more than 2 weeks at a time. How? She's asked them all out. According to Kirsten, she hasn't been asked out since she was twelve. She always asks them to dinner. She always picks them up. And she always pays for their first date. She's like the Amelia Earhart of dating. The best part about her story is that she always manages to go out with fantastically successful, good-looking men.

Kirsten isn't the only woman I've met with dating habits like that. I've talked to plenty of females who do the same, or have friends who do the same with much success. It seems like such a no brainer to me. Guys would (and do) agree to go out with a girl that they would probably never make the effort to ask out themselves, if for no other reason than the fact that they're so flattered that they've been asked out.

If there's a guy you've had your eye on who you see regularly at the gym, or works in the building next to yours, there's no reason not to ask him to hang out. Deciding that he's not into you because he hasn't made the first move is defeatist and unfair to yourself. Perhaps he was just waiting for the right time to talk to you. Perhaps you asking him out would be a good time for that.