Breakups and Myspace

Come fix my computer please. I want one month of sobriety.

This is absolutely true true true when meeting the wrong female. love this guy.

its been 2 years for me and i still do it every now and then... its a new technologically f!@#$%ed up obstacle getting in the way of the natural healing process that we will have to learn how to deal with and adapt to.

I think we're all guilty of this.. Myspace seems to control our lives anymore. It seems where "being intelligent" and "grounded" used to be extremely important we've given way to basing our entire self-worth on friend requests and how many comments we get.

Yes by the way.. I do look.

I got to the point with my ex and his page that I cannot/ do not/ under ANY circumstances go near his page. I just can't. And, maybe that's an indication that I'm not having much success in moving on. I guess I fear that if there is some comment from some girl, or a photo, or (stab me in the heart) he's "In a Relationship", then the rest of my day will be in the toilet. That's a lot of power.

And yet, do I delete his profile from my friends? No.
Do I sometimes secretly hope that he's checking-up on me and marveling over how good I look/ happy I seem and kicking himself in the head for letting me go?

Uhh...YEAH.

It's terrible, isn't it? I think the only solution is to stay so busy doing things you love, it doesn't even occur to you to get online. And yeah, writing this doesn't mean I actually follow my own advice...love the column!!

I had a similar situation with an ex friend... I think in certain cases it works the same as a an ex boy/girlfriend.

I wasn't going to do the deleting from the space, until they did it first.I was just gonna keep them there just to keep from any furthur drama. I also find "friend deleting" to be the lamest thing ever! The D.Bag didn't even bother to set their profile to private (moron). If I'm in dyer need of a snoop fest I can check the page. It is def. inevitable that at some point you are going to check up on them. Sad. But True. Whatever happened to the good ol' days of he said/she said through the telephone?

Ben...you're still the sh*t.

Guilty as charged. It takes a tremendous amount of self-control and discipline to keep ourselves from peeking. Before myspace we had to resort to imagination sparked by the occasional hearsay. Now we have the curse of being able to actually keep tabs. Your advice is fantastic and I have to say that I am lucky enough that my ex changed his profile to private...otherwise I would be asking my friends to send him a message:)

That's great! I wish they would come out with some sort of breathalizer for the computer. Just as drunk dialing is dangerous and embarrassing, so is sending drunk comments or messages... So I hear anyway. Keep up the great work!

or option #5. you can throw your computer off a very tall cliff

I just wanted to comment on what Maya said; if you can "stay so busy doing things you love, it doesn't even occur to you to get online" is probably the best advice I've heard. Unfortunately, too many individuals I know sit in front of a computer for work, and the ability to NOT go online isn't an option. For these people, you/we need to block myspace from y(our) work computer.

my girlfriend broke up with me 3 days ago.. I deleted all her numbers and any trace of numbers from my phone so wouldn't try and contact her sounding miserable.

The thing i keep going back and forth on, is if i should delete her off my myspace or get her to block me, I keep looking at her profile and getting sad etc etc

The other thing is facebook, all my friends are friends with her and it gives details of whenever they are communicating with each other, so even if i wanted to delete her it wouldn't do anything, i would have to delete half my friends...

i'm not sure if should just delete both my myspace and facebook... has anyone had to do this??

Sam,
i get emails from friends celebrating the fact their exes have deleted their myspace/facebook accounts- if it was such an issue, how did they ever let it get to that point, right?
you've got a couple options first before you take the plunge and delete your accounts (not that you can't go back later and rejoin).
try and give yourself a break from the social networking sites- have a friend change your password so you can't log on for a while. Give the natural healing process some time- your wounds are still fresh. You don't have to be "out there", but if you can't keep yourself off line, then you need to change something or seek help. There are some things we just don't need to know... we may want to, for some morbidly curious reason (or just because we care about the other person still), but it's messing with your healing. Just say NO, however you can- you are not alone