MIA

by Benjamin Todd — November 2, 2007

You went out a few times and things seemed to be going great. He called when he said he would, he treated you like a princess, then out of the blue, poof, he disappeared. Without warning, without argument, suddenly your budding romance has vanished. But why?

The answer could be one of two reasons. The first reason he stopped calling could be your fault. Perhaps he read Greg Behrendt's book and just decided that you're just not that into him. If you're not at least encouraging him a little, giving him the right signs (asking him out and planning everything or steaming things up a little), chances are, his ego isn't going to want to hang around someone who doesn't make him feel great. Not for too long, anyways.

The second reason is the more complicated explanation that can be summed up with one phrase—flavor of the week. Not your fault; you were exactly what he was looking for. He fell hard, he fell quick, and fell out...just as quickly.

You must beware of these types, they'll disappear and reappear and haunt you. Promises of future plans and verbal extravagancies and adoration leave you feeling like this guy could be something special. He would be special, too, if he could only control his emotions. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't encourage someone who seems to be really into you. It just means that you should proceed with caution. In the first two months of a relationship, falling out can be just as quick, if not quicker, than falling in love. So the pheromones faded and suddenly your "something new" is "something not really." You didn't really want to be in bi-polar relationship, anyways.

There is a third option, of course. If you slept with him and he stopped calling. The reason: you slept with him too soon. The end.

I know; it stings a little that he stopped calling. But you know you're better off. If he's the type who would just disappear without at least a courtesy call, then he's too much of a coward for you anyways. Who doesn't at least courtesy call these days? Dust yourself off and go the gym (or whatever you do that makes you feel better about yourself). And remember, you've got to kiss a few toads before you find your prince. His disappearance unequivocally cleared up which category he fits into.