Text Dating

by Benjamin Todd — November 22, 2007

He did what? No, asking someone out through a text message is not okay. Forgive me while I rant.

My last girlfriend LOVED to text message me. I thought it was adorable; smiley faces to wake up to and little reminders throughout the day that told me she was thinking of me. But that's where I draw the line. My friend told me last week that a guy she met had asked her out through a text message, and it got me a little peeved. Are guys these days really so insecure that they can't ask out a girl in person? Is calling someone and having a real conversation with them beyond our capabilities? Come on guys, get with it! Come on girls, don't put up with that! I understand that without having to see her face or hear her voice, rejection is softened considerably, but is that really how we're representing ourselves these days? I'm embarrassed for my entire gender.

Unfortunately, my friend replied "yes" to his text inquiry. The texting thing was cute to her and so was he. Why not, right? When he sent her text messages, he was risqué and extremely forward, but when they hung out, he was timid and quiet. They stopped hanging out after just a few dates. She liked that he was bold and aggressive and intelligent, but she never got to actually see that side of him. The side of him she genuinely liked only showed up in text format and never showed up in person. Too bad--he had promise (I read his texts).

But that leads me into my next diatribe; how much can we actually tell about someone from their 160-character messages? Without intonation and emotion, how do we know we're not completely misreading the intent? Do we need to start prefacing our text messages with adverbs and adjectives? {loud & angry} CALL ME!! Or maybe there's an easier solution--maybe we can just speak face to face. No, that would be too much trouble.

Please, no more text games. No more text flirting. If you've got an established relationship, then go thumb wild. But for the basics, for the beginners, for us beleaguered, beware of the serial texters.