But, I Found Porn

by Benjamin Todd — December 19, 2007

"But I found PORN!" she said. Like that was supposed to be something incriminating. "Don't you think I should break up with him?" she prodded. Because of porn? What year is it again? Sorry, but if I misspell ANYthing in a Web search, something phallic pops up (pun intended). Am I to be castrated for peeking? Hell no. Porn is everywhere, and it isn't going away any time soon, so we might as well address the issue.

Does he have a library of porn or a video labeled "Boner jams '06?" If so, then you have a problem. Correction, your boyfriend has a problem and you have a strange boyfriend. Does that make him undatable? That one's up to you. But catching a guy with porn is like catching your dog licking himself; not pleasant, sure, but they do it because they can and training won't make them stop.

I'm a firm believer that humans are victims of opportunity. The more chances we have to make the wrong choice, the higher the probability that we will. Following this logic, I must admit that 60 years ago, catching your boyfriend watching porn might have been a little much; he would have had to go to the wrong part of town and pay a nickel to sit in some dirty movie theatre filled with other dirty men. Ewww. Today, your boyfriend is bombarded with porn every time he logs onto the Internet. If your boyfriend peeks every once in a while at pictures of naked women, that's a good thing in my book. There's some much nastier stuff out there than the plastic playmate pieces they're flaunting in today's skin mags. If you catch him admiring a pair of naked breasts, in my opinion, you should be thankful that he wasn't looking at something twisted.

I could go on for hours, days even, about the moral implications involved with approving pornography considering how demeaning it is towards women. I think its important to point out the industry of the flesh isn't going to be universally supported...ever. And while I'm certainly not going to go around championing the industry, I'm not going to pretend like it's going away. It's a machine that feeds itself and will do what it has to in order to turn a profit--the definition of a corporation. I don't judge people for wearing shoes that were almost certainly made in a sweatshop (openly). I don't judge my guy friends for ogling a beautiful naked female either.

Perhaps it was youthful innocence that made her question her boyfriend. It might have been moral scruples. It may just be because someone told her once that boy's don't really watch porn. But boys do. And like it or not, boys will. I can't condone breaking up with a guy because he's watched pornography.

Read all of Benjamin Todd's posts to The Dating Life.