Can A Good Girl "Just Get Laid?"

by Benjamin Todd — December 10, 2007

The problem: She hasn't been laid in a while.
The solution: Find a good-looking guy and make him a very happy man for a few weeks/days/hours.

The problem with that solution is the aftershock...the hangover. When my lady friends have found some unsuspecting, "he'll do for now" kinda guy, it always released their tension and took their mind off their exes for a little while. But the problem with this temporary solution is that they always wind up feeling cheap and dirty shortly afterwards and calling me to complain about it (only to repeat the process in the future).

There's only one drug that can make the withdrawals go away...but, like any drug, the meaningless sex only seems to perpetuate things, making them feel worse than when they started to feel the, umm, Urge. So what's the solution then, dear reader? If a woman can't find a great guy to go out with, and she's one Cosmo away from calling her ex for some sex, what's the best alternative? I can't go around suggesting that women find a stranger to shack up with. Maybe many guys would find that to be a perfectly reasonable solution (and an ego boost), but I just can't, in good conscience, recommend it to women.

The complaint heard often, most frequently partnered with "I can't get laid," is that "there just aren't any good ones out there (to use for hot one night stands)," and I would tend to agree with that statement--it wouldn't make sense if the MAJORITY of the population was your type (think about what a mess that what be). But also consider what it is you're really looking for. 99% of the females on the planet could be having sex within 15 minutes of declaring their need for it; they're just not willing to do what is necessary for it (and I'm grateful they're not). Men would, but that's certainly a flaw, not a favorable trait.

Or perhaps I'm being too much of a prude. If Sex and the City has taught me anything, it's that women shouldn't be ashamed of being the sexual aggressor. You ladies should be proud that you hold most of the power. But if being the attacker makes you wind up feeling like the victim, then obviously we need to find you a different way to get your, uh, Satisfaction. As a guy, I can sympathize, but not really empathize; guys don't turn down opportunities for sex. Sometimes, I wish everyone could be getting as much action as they wanted, whenever they wanted it. But in most ways, I think it's probably a good thing that we don't.

Read all of Benjamin Todd's posts to The Dating Life.