The Taxi Cab Analogy

by Benjamin Todd — January 2, 2008

Men are like taxis; they drive around forever with their lights off, and the second they turns their lights on, they'll take whoever hops in the back first. I've heard all the other ones, comparing men to parking spots, dogs, and many other things far worse. But none have spoken to me quite like the taxi analogy, maybe because it's true.

Any generalization is exactly that, only general, and there are plenty of exceptions to every rule. But the sad reality of this analogy is that men generally don't settle down (even with the right women) because they're just not ready...and as soon as they feel ready, they'll snag the first available woman. I'm guilty of it; it took a major move and some serious soul searching for me to break up with the last eligible candidate; despite the fact that we were as compatible as a cobra and a mongoose.

I wish there was some easy way to explain how or when it will happen. But that's like trying to guess how old Peter Pan will be when he decides to grow up. There's just a change. Instead of wondering (only) if she'll be good in bed, we start to wonder if she'd be a good mother to our children. Going out with the hot, young hostess at the restaurant down the street is downgraded from a challenge to a fruitless fantasy. But there's no way to tell when a boy will flip his switch and become a man...you'll only know after it has already happened.

It is important to add, because of personal experiences, that women must use caution around guys who are "in transition" -- the guys who think they're ready. A man who says, "I'm not looking for just a hookup anymore," is a time bomb waiting to break someone's heart. Have you ever met someone who tried to make EVERY relationship work, no matter how unhealthy and wrong the whole relationship was? The "in transition" male is that person. I've seen too many women fall for their (my) bullshit about being ready to settle down. He'll try everything he can to make it work until one of you reaches the break point and walks away. The aftermath of such relationships is not fun.

I've heard that "Turn around and run," is the best advice for dealing with men who've recently flipped their switch, and I'm inclined not to disagree with it. The right woman is out there, and has been waiting for Peter Pan to finally grow up; you just might NOT want to be the first woman to come along when he does. Give yourself the time to make sure you're right for each other before you let him sell you on 'happily ever after'. Just because he's ready for you doesn't mean he's right for you.

Read all of Benjamin Todd's posts to The Dating Life.