Finding Someone New...Inside

by Cheng-Ling Chen — November 16, 2007

Two years ago, I was in a rut in my professional and personal life. I decided to try something different that was just for me. I took a dance class for women called Sheila Kelley's S-Factor. The S is a unique movement that combines yoga, Pilates, modern dance, and pole work. Two hours are spent inside the comfort of a warm, dark, mirrorless studio with ten or a dozen other women. For the first hour, the instructor leads a series of stretches and warm up exercises with motivating music. We work on abs and build overall body strength and flexibility. The next half-hour focuses on working out on the pole, practicing flying and inversion tricks with names like Firefly, Ballerina, Snake Dive, Body Spiral, Pole Cat, and more. The class winds down with each woman dancing to her song of choice. For three to four minutes, she is free to open, release, and express herself, moving in ways that feel good for her body without fear of judgment or social constraint.

Before S-Factor, I lived inside my head, and I tended to be private about sensuality issues. This dance movement was definitely outside the box for me. My body started out stiffly, but beyond the physical awkwardness, I struggled with psychological barriers. Even with a healthy childhood, somehow I came to believe that it was socially unrefined for a woman to embrace her sensuality. A movement that glorifies the female body and spirit, where dance, pole work, and strip tease were taught and practiced to empower rather than weaken or cheapen women was a brave new world.

Learning this movement helped me tune into myself. Rather than focusing on features I didn't like, I celebrated my body. I learned a new definition for feminine sensuality and began to see it as a beautiful, powerful, and pure part of who I am. As I grew stronger physically, I also became grounded in myself. I shared this journey of self-discovery and growth with women from all walks of life, many of whom became friends.

If you ever feel stuck or want more from your daily routine, try something new. Be brave! Go beyond your comfort zone. Discover yourself in a way you haven't considered before. An S-Factor friend told me recently that if she had met me outside our classes, she would never have guessed I was the kind of gal who would take up something like this. I am tickled by her comment. I like being mysterious and surprising to the world, but even more, to myself. That's when I am living fully. That's when I am at my best.