Position 91

by Cheng-Ling Chen — November 28, 2007

Remember that Sex and the City episode where the girls meet for a power lunch and gawk over stapled pages of 1001 Sexual Positions? They have something like the following dialogue:

Charlotte: Whose legs bend back that far?
Miranda: It's like sex for the boneless.
Carrie: Congregates, please refer to Position 91 in your prayer book!
Miranda: And let us say, Amen!

There is the briefest glimpse of Position 91 that leaves the imagination wanting.

I got thinking about Position 91 this morning as I stumbled across an online tool called the Perfect Position Selector. You answer some multiple choice questions regarding your energy level, your flexibility, his size, and your respective heights. Based on your answers, the Selector gives you the supposed perfect position, along with specific how-to instructions and explanations as to why you will love it.

So just because it sounded like fun, under energy level I picked the option, "I'm in the mood to rip up some sheets." The Selector offered a position in which he would be standing upright and I would be standing on my hands. From the looks of it, I'm guessing I'll need a few more hundred hours of yoga classes, give or take, to maneuver into that love du soleil .

What I'm thinking is, How would an online tool know my perfect position for any given moment when I don't even know? And why do I have to work so hard to rip up the sheets while he just gets to stand there? If you're curious or in need of amusement, you can check out the Perfect Position Selector at http://choosers.ivillage.com/love/perfect_position/ .

As for me, I don't think I'll be finding my Position 91 online. I have a better shot of getting into it by focusing on my needs and tuning into my better half (in this order, or not, depending on the day). Position 91 will be pretty darn spectacular when we find our way there together. Course, it probably wouldn't hurt if he cooked me one of his delicious dinners tonight. Hmmm...maybe I ought to send him a little text message right now that is nice but also a little naughty. Dessert will be even better if we have the whole day to let things marinate.