This Spring, Get Intimate With Farmers' Markets

by Andrea Millar — May 8, 2008

Organic grapes exploding from the vine! Broccoli rustling in its baskets! Tomatoes handed to me by someone wearing overalls! It's farmers' market time! OK, honestly, do you know what farmers' markets make me think of? The fact that I'm single. What I want to do here is write a neat little guide on the basics of farmers' marketeering. You know, make a perimeter to check things out first, don't rush it, talk to the farmers you're buying from, pet the dogs, don't trample the toddlers. But in all honesty, I've avoided farmers' markets since my last relationship ended.

It's not like they're all that romantic for me. Food is food, and I like it that way. I can talk shop with many fine local producers (monocot! Angiosperm! Ok, well, I can enjoy trying anyway). But somehow that air of wholesome goodness (and, in my area, twin heads of dreadlocks) just reminds me of the fact that I'll take this huge weird purple cauliflower thing, my tender little carrots, fresh basil with no brown in sight, and probably cook it up by myself. Drat. Perhaps I should cook the basil and carrots and date the cauliflower? I've always said I wanted someone who doesn't interrupt me.

So, instead of the usual tips, I give you: flirting at the farmers' market. How many single people are willing to brave the bright-eyed coupled multitude? Well, you're there, you're doing it! You just gotta find your other half, the one who also woke up that morning and decided organic persimmons so fresh they're practically screaming were worth the blissed-out gazes of couples planning their evenings together.

1. Eye contact! Then...broccoli contact! Now! You talk! The subject? Anything under the sun...but start with broccoli. Example: "Wow, that broccoli looks good. I see you have some squash blossoms there...ever try the two together?"
2. This one's gotta work: "Ooh, I see you snagged some of those unsprayed pluots! I grabbed the organic ones for a buck more...you want to do a compare/contrast?"
3. And this one's the showboat. Use judiciously and with extreme choosiness, because you got standards. You run into someone cute at a booth. Start discussing a recipe with market ingredients, preferably some you both have. They get excited, you think you could grab some digits, but you know what? Let it simmer. Arrange to run into them next week after you've tried the recipe, but when you arrive, bring them some.

Yeah, impressive, I know. As for what happens after you break the ice a little bit, make sure they're not paired up with another beautiful, organic-food loving person, and see if you have anything else in common. Then again, maybe good, fresh produce is all you need.